“The sins of the father are the shackles worn by their children.”

was part of the dialogue by Detective Flack in CSI: New York, Season 9, Episode 10. One of the plot lines of the episode was about an abusive father who has Alzheimer’s Disease and can no longer remember or make amends for the abuse he inflicted on his son.

The second part of the quote:

“I just hope the children are strong enough and smart enough to break their shackles.”

is from a conversation I had with a good friend of mine about Lauren Elizabeth Kelley’s situation and how I think much of her drinking and drug use is because of the abuse she suffered from her father growing up.

Part of me is hoping that she bombs and loses her scholarship because that may be the softest way for Lauren Elizabeth Kelley to hit rock bottom. But, most of me hopes she does well because that is all I have ever wanted for the amazing woman I love.

“Never do anything that you can’t admit doing, because if you are that ashamed of whatever it is, it’s probably wrong.”

~Ashly Lorenzana

“You are only afraid if you are not in harmony with yourself.”

~Hermann Hesse

“When people cheat in any arena, they diminish themselves-they threaten their own self-esteem and their relationships with others by undermining the trust they have in their ability to succeed and in their ability to be true.”

~Cheryl Hughes

“Never do anything that you can’t admit doing, because if you are that ashamed of whatever it is, it’s probably wrong.”

~Ashly Lorenzana

“Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.”

~Barbara De Angelis

“I believe in integrity. Dogs have it. Humans are sometimes lacking it.”

~Cesar Millan

“Integrity is not a conditional word. It doesn’t blow in the wind or change with the weather. It is your inner image of yourself, and if you look in there and see a man who won’t cheat, then you know he never will. Integrity is not a search for the rewards of integrity. Maybe all you ever get for it is the largest kick in the ass the world can provide. It is not supposed to be a productive asset.”

~John D. MacDonald, The Turquoise Lament

“Wisdom is knowing the right path to take. Integrity is taking it.”

~M.H. McKee

You know what I did when I started wondering about my own drinking… Just out of curiosity, I read the AA book. I was SHOCKED at how much of it resonated with me, how much of myself I could see in it. That book was full of underlines, notes, and exclamations of “wow!” when I saw something of myself in there. When I saw all of that I thought, this book wouldn’t resonate so much with me if I didn’t have a problem with alcohol. Reading that book helped me come to the realization that I am in fact an alcoholic, which got me to go to an AA meeting and start talking about it. Honey, this disease is progressive, meaning it’s only going to get worse, whether you like it or not. You have to get off the elevator sooner or later. Better sooner rather than later. I understand about loving the taste, the feeling, especially the first mouthful… but it’s only going to come back to bite you, eventually. Consider stopping before things really get out of control. Believe me, you don’t want it to be something horrible that forces you to admit what you already know inside, like wrecking your car and taking someone’s life. You don’t want to have to live with that. Right now, you don’t have to. Stop, and get help. Good luck.