This is the very first photo of Gee and I together that I e-mailed out to our friends back in September of 1999. This was taken in her new apartment when she first moved to Seattle for grad school. We had just gotten engaged when this photo was taken on September 19, 1999, two months [...]
It was Easter Sunday in 2000, 13 years ago, when Gee was diagnosed with the Pancreatic Cancer that eventually killed her. We were at Maryview Hospital, down in Portsmouth, VA, where her parents live. A week and a half earlier I had asked her to go down to see her father, who is a physician, [...]
Recently, there was a video circulating about performance artist Marina Abramovic and a performance she had done at the MOMA back in 2010. Marina and Ulay had met in the 1970s and loved each other intensely—becoming partners in life and performing art together out of the van they lived in. After a little more than [...]
There was an amazing post on the Sobriety for Women blog about waiting and commitment. I’m going to copy it here. I will wait….. I will wait. I will wait for you. These are the words that taunt me. Why? Waiting. Hoping. Praying. These are qualities that an addict like me does not possess so [...]
Happy New Year’s Eve to all my friends and family. This is the last day of the year and I, for one, am very happy to see 2012 end. I hope the New Year 2013 brings all of you success, health and happiness. I hope that 2013 will be a better year for many of [...]
I am wishing all of my friends and family a Merry Christmas and hope the New Year brings them all success, health and happiness. I hope that this Christmas season will bring healing to the families in Connecticut who have lost so much this December. I also have some simple wishes and hopes for this [...]
I have to wonder why someone would refuse a breathalyzer when involved in a car accident if they’ve only had one glass of wine to drink. In the state of Massachusetts refusing a breathalyzer automatically results in an 180-day suspension of one’s driver’s license. It doesn’t make sense. Anyone over the age of 21 and [...]
I have spent much of this past weekend grieving for the beautiful, smart, feisty-spirited, freckled, red-haired Irish woman I love. From everything I have seen for the past seventeen months, there is nothing left of the amazing woman I asked to marry me on June 22, 2011 but the pathetic, weak and cowardly drug-addicted alcoholic [...]
Looking back on the last two years, I realize that I am thankful that I got the chance to tell Lauren Elizabeth Kelley how my feelings for her had changed and grown. I am thankful that I got a chance to tell my amazing Lauren Elizabeth Kelley how much I loved her and ask her [...]
“These are the choices we make, which define us. I will not be the woman who puts her career ahead of love and friendship. I am the woman who stays home and bakes Tilapia for my dearest, oldest friend. And helps her be comfortable, and comforted, and safe, and important. Many of us these days, [...]
A little over three years ago, I was honored by Lauren Elizabeth Kelley’s mother Sue, who asked me to write a Palanca letter for Lauren Elizabeth Kelley. The Palanca letter is a tradition in Catholic schools and they are written by people closest to a young adult who is about to graduate high school. It [...]
Looking back… as the 12th anniversary of one of the happiest days of my life approaches, I was just reading some of the posts I made both here and on Facebook back in June 2011. They were some of the happiest posts of my life… because they were about some of the happiest events of [...]
Today, I got a comment on a photo I posted on one of the social media websites. It was a response to a photo of Lauren Elizabeth Kelley where I had basically told the viewers that the photo was taken before Lauren Elizabeth Kelley fell to her addictions. The photo was taken in 2008 and [...]
Love is… when your heart is set on doing the most good for the one you love. I think that is a pretty good rule to follow. Sometimes you have to do something that the person you love isn’t going to be happy about. Sometimes they won’t understand what you’re doing is the best thing [...]
My friend and fellow twinless twin Jim had a link to this story posted on Facebook. I thought I’d post the story here. **************************************************** CAN I BORROW $25? Once upon a time; —- A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door. [...]
I think that this cartoon sums up how I feel about Lauren Elizabeth Kelley. Even if I can’t save her, I would go through the gates of Hell just to be with her. That is how much I love her. Like Fyoosh, Lauren Elizabeth Kelley is basically a good, caring and loving person that is [...]
This is the image I sent to Ellie, the founder of the Crying Out Now blog, for her three-and-a-half year Anniversary video. Ellie promised that she was going to use it in her video and did. I am honored beyond belief. The Crying Out Now blog is an amazing resource, written by women for women. [...]
“Don’t trust words, trust actions.” I believe this is true…that actions speak much louder than words ever could. While Lauren Elizabeth Kelley has lied about me for sixteen months, I don’t believe she believes the lies. I believe her actions—not the actions of the drug-addicted alcoholic looking for her next drink or high. I trust [...]
There’s another great post on the Crying Out Now blog. The post is by a woman who finally decided to stop drinking because driving drunk nearly cost her her life. I personally know the high cost of drunk driving, at least from a victim’s viewpoint. I have never driven drunk or incapacitated in any way [...]
“Love doesn’t give you very many choices. When you love someone, you just want to be with them. If they break your heart, you will still love them. Because hearts are easy to break, and though love is tender and sometimes fragile, love isn’t. Love sort of envelops you. It covers you like a giant [...]
Nicholas Kristof writes about Scott Androes, a college friend of his that had taken a gamble and is paying the price. You can read the two columns about Scott here and here. The story of Scott Androes hits home for me. In many ways it would have been Gee’s story had she and I not [...]
Lauren Elizabeth Kelley— I do not know if you are still reading this blog. Last February, you said you were, and I am praying that you still do. It has been sixteen months since you fell to your addictions. It has been sixteen months since you let Ian’s betrayal of you turn you into a [...]
One of my friends asked me why I had bought Lauren Elizabeth Kelley a claddagh ring instead of a more traditional engagement ring. The answer is quite simple—I bought the claddagh ring for Lauren Elizabeth Kelley because she is Irish and I wanted to respect her heritage and give her a traditional Celtic engagement ring. [...]
I’m a big fan of the television series Criminal Minds. I found it oddly fitting and sad that the 18th episode of the season six was titled “Lauren” and the two quotes from the show were: “The secret to getting away with lying is believing with all your heart, that goes for lying to yourself [...]
I just saw a movie called Safety Not Guaranteed. I guess that’s as good a description of relationships as anything else. Very little is guaranteed. I did not know what I was getting myself into when I asked Lauren Elizabeth Kelley to marry me on June 22, 2011. I did not know she was a [...]
I have finally realized that I have done everything I can for Lauren Elizabeth Kelley, the amazing woman I love and want to spend the rest of my life with. I am content with that. Now, it is up to her. I can not help her any further until Lauren Elizabeth Kelley realizes she has [...]
Today marks the 25th anniversary of the day my identical twin brother David was killed by a drunk driver on his way back to UCSD in California. He was driving from Boston to San Diego. Fifteen minutes before he left our childhood home for his long trip back to school I had a bag in [...]
This was posted by my friend Pam as her status on Facebook today. “On this day we are reminded of how fragile life is. Cherish and love your family and friends. Tell them you love and appreciate them every single day. You never can know if you will ever see them again.” Eleven years ago [...]
My friends Ralph and Alina brought their Tylercraft 26 to my marina on their way from the southern side of Long Island, where they bought the boat two years ago, back to Maine, where they live. That was two seasons ago. Earlier this season, Ralph and Alina got married. They have been working on recommissioning [...]
Nobody likes letting go. From our earliest moments – from birth until we’re six feet under, our instinct is to grab…grip…cling…to a finger, a bottle, a best friend—to a faded old racing form. Sometimes we hold on for dear life to the very things that actually keep us from living it. But that comes with [...]