A Good Person

Posted on Friday 12 July 2013

A lot of people think that Lauren Elizabeth Kelley is a bad person. I disagree. While the things she has said and done as a drug addicted alcoholic have hurt me, I do not think there was any malice behind her actions—she just couldn’t help herself.

In fact, I do not think that Lauren Elizabeth Kelley is to blame for the horrific things she has said and done because of her addictions. I can no more blame Lauren Elizabeth Kelley for these actions than I could have blamed my late wife Gee for the complications that her cancer caused. Drug addiction and alcoholism are treatable diseases of the brain.

I do not think that Lauren Elizabeth Kelley is a bad person. In fact, I think, at her core, she is one of the best people I know. When she is not under the effects of her illness, Lauren Elizabeth Kelley is one of the strongest, most beautiful, smartest and most stubborn women I have ever known.

Lauren Elizabeth Kelley is compassionate, gracious, generous, kind, loving, lovable, capable, ambitious, and feisty. She has a strong belief in God, is a devout Catholic, and has a strong sense of right and wrong, good morals and values and a strong sense of integrity. When she is healthy, there is no one I would rather be with or share my life with. At her heart Lauren Elizabeth Kelley is a good person.

The problem with alcoholism and drug-addiction is they are diseases of the brain and have more in common with Alzheimer’s, dementia or schizophrenia than diabetes, cancer or a broken leg. These illnesses cause drastic, unforeseeable changes in her behavior, even while she has fundamentally not changed.

I think that is part of what makes alcoholism and drug addiction such destructive diseases. We still see the person we love, but they do not behave the way we expect them to and do things that often hurt us and surprise us. In many ways, this is the same problem that loved ones who are dealing with Alzheimer’s and dementia patients have—the physical body of the person they love is there, but they do not do or say what they expect them to do or say.

I think the real problem is that until Lauren Elizabeth Kelley recognizes that she has a problem with drugs and alcohol and that she needs help, there isn’t much hope of anyone seeing the amazing woman that I love and asked to marry me again. As long as her addictions are in charge, the beautiful, strong, smart, capable, compassionate honest, and lovable woman that I have always known and loved can not manifest herself.

I am waiting for something that may never happen. Lauren Elizabeth Kelley could very well be a high-functioning alcoholic like her father and never hit rock bottom. Or, she may take years to hit rock bottom and realize that she has a serious problem with drugs and alcohol.

I am hoping that she is smart enough and strong enough to figure out the truth of what her addictions have been doing to her in a relatively short amount of time. I have complete faith in the woman that loves me—I always have. I have always believed in Lauren Elizabeth Kelley—even when no one else did—I still do.

I am hoping that she is not going to be doomed to be a life-long alcoholic like her father and trapped in the cycle of addiction and abuse that he is in. I am hoping that she does not get seriously injured or killed or seriously injure or kill anyone else while she is a drug-addicted alcoholic.

I hope that Lauren Elizabeth Kelley will realize that the cycle of addiction and abuse is what caused many of the problems she has with self-esteem and anxiety, and that to treat her addictions, she must also address the underlying psychological trauma caused by the years of abuse her father subjected her to.

I hope that Lauren Elizabeth Kelley will realize that the love, commitment and devotion I have shown her is the truth of what she deserves and that she is wise enough to let the love I have for her help heal the wounds and scars left by her father’s abuse and the other people who have hurt her. I hope Lauren Elizabeth Kelley realizes that my commitment to her is real and as strong and deep as the love we have shared for over twenty years.

God Bless you Lauren Elizabeth.

May God watch over you and protect you from all harm—even that you cause yourself.

I hope God gives you the strength to fight your addictions and the wisdom to see the truth about what the alcohol and drugs are doing to you.

I pray that God grants you the serenity and peace you will need to love yourself once again and to forgive yourself for the things your addictions have made you do.

I ask that God helps you find your way back to being the amazing, beautiful, intelligent, feisty, stubborn, strong, and devout woman He wants you to be.

Finally, may He grant you the ability to see yourself as I do and let you remember who we are to each other; let you remember the years of friendship, love and devotion we once shared; and give you the strength to make amends so we can start the future together we talked about last June.

All this in Jesus’s name I pray.


1 Comment for 'A Good Person'

    August 8, 2013 | 10:23 pm

    […] has subjected you to all your life has made you doubt who you truly are. You don’t know that you are a good person. You don’t know that you are an amazing woman. You don’t know that you are strong. You don’t […]

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