To be with you.
I think that this cartoon sums up how I feel about Lauren Elizabeth Kelley. Even if I can’t save her, I would go through the gates of Hell just to be with her. That is how much I love her.
Like Fyoosh, Lauren Elizabeth Kelley is basically a good, caring and loving person that is doing things that hurt people. Lauren’s addictions are what are causing her to do these things, because hurting people, telling lies and such are not natural to the beautiful Irish lass I love.
As a favor, I would ask you all to pray for Lauren Elizabeth Kelley, the woman I love, because as difficult as the last seventeen months has been, they have been far worse for my beloved in many ways, though she doesn’t realize it yet. Please pray for her health and for her recovery.
Lauren Elizabeth Kelley is only beginning her journey and has a long and difficult road ahead of her, with far worse to come before it starts to get better. Even after all that has happened, one thing I am thankful for is having her in my life, though it may not seem it at times and however difficult it may be to believe.
Lauren Elizabeth Kelley is one of the strongest, smartest, wisest, most stubborn and bravest women I’ve ever known—that’s part of why I love her so, but I don’t think she even realizes how amazing she is. I believe in her. I know that the woman that loves me has the intelligence, wisdom, will, strength and courage to get better, but that it will not be easy, even for her. But, I do not know if she has the self-confidence to do so. I believe she has been using alcohol and drugs to self-medicate and try and “treat” her self-doubts and insecurities.
Lauren Elizabeth Kelley will need to hit rock bottom before her strength, courage, intelligence, wisdom and will are able to overcome her self-doubts and insecurities. Something may have to happen to cause her stubbornness and feisty temper to kick in and make her fight to save herself. I have been praying that she hits rock bottom as softly and quickly as possible to reduce the risk of her permanently damaging herself, someone else or her future in the process of falling.
Lauren Elizabeth Kelley is not her illness and the actions and behaviors her illness has made her do these past seventeen months are not truly hers. This is why I forgive her for the horrific things she has said and done since she fell ill. Her illness doesn’t change how I have come to feel about her or what she has come to mean to me. I will not abandon her when just when she needs me most, even if she doesn’t realize it.
We love who we love. Reason does not enter into it. In many ways, unwise love is the truest love. Anyone can love a person because. That’s as easy as putting a penny in your pocket. But to love someone despite. To know the flaws and love them too. That is rare and pure and perfect.
~Kvothe in The Wise Man’s Fear, by Patrick Rothfuss.
That is how I love Lauren Elizabeth Kelley. I KNOW who Lauren Elizabeth Kelley is—I have seen the worst she can be and know her flaws, and love her despite them. Lauren Elizabeth Kelley is not perfect, but when she is healthy, she is perfect for me. In any case, I love this imperfect woman perfectly.
Of course, I have loved Lauren Elizabeth Kelley all her life in some form. I have cared for her all her life. I have been her protector, adviser, confidante and one of her closest friends for much of the last decade, as I was asked to be by her parents. I have always been there for Lauren Elizabeth Kelley, and she knows it. I have always been Lauren Elizabeth Kelley’s greatest fan and biggest supporter, and always believed in her. I have always tried to help her reach her goals and succeed in accomplishing her dreams.
Despite what her father has wished to happen, I have never stopped caring for her, loving her or being her friend, regardless of the lies they have told, the horrific things she has done or whether she recognizes the truth of it or not.
Earlier this year, WHEN I SAID I love her and when she told me she loved me in two different languages, I made a commitment to her that I cannot break. I will abide by that commitment and help her if she should ask me for it.
My funny and much beloved Lauren Elizabeth Kelley
God Bless you Lauren Elizabeth.
May God watch over you and protect you from all harm—even that you cause yourself.
I hope God gives you the strength to fight your addictions and the wisdom to see the truth about what the alcohol and drugs are doing to you.
I pray that God grants you the serenity and peace you will need to love yourself once again and to forgive yourself for the things your addictions have made you do.
I ask that God helps you find your way back to being the amazing, beautiful, intelligent, feisty, stubborn, strong, and devout woman He wants you to be.
Finally, may He grant you the ability to see yourself as I do and let you remember who we are to each other; let you remember the years of friendship, love and devotion we once shared; and give you the strength to make amends so we can start the future together we talked about last June.
All this in Jesus’s name I pray.
Amen.
[...] These memories are part of the many reasons I have found the strength to abide and stay, even when Lauren appears to be nothing more than the drug-addicted alcoholic that has hurt me and lied about us. These memories are part of the reason I still want to be with Lauren Elizabeth Kelley. [...]