If I could feed her dreams and starve her fears, that is what I would do for Ellie.
If I could show her what an amazing, beautiful, strong, smart, funny, and compassionate woman I see her to be, I would.
I would do these things so that her fears and insecurities wouldn’t have the iron grip over her that they currently do. Her fears and insecurities are what I believe are feeding her addictions and giving them the strength to make her do the horrible things she has been doing for the past year. If she knew how beautiful, smart, strong and lovable she really was, I doubt she would do the drugs or drink the way she is doing right now.
I hope she figures out that she is a beautiful, smart, strong and amazing woman soon, before her addictions destroy all of that. She won’t be if she continues to stay a drug-addicted alcoholic. The drugs and alcohol will rob her of her looks, her intelligence, her health, her strength and her future.
It is Ellie’s decision now—it is now up to her.
Until she decides that she wants to be more than a drug-addicted alcoholic no one can help her.
Until she decides she wants to be the person God meant her to be she will remain a pale shadow of her true self.
Until she asks for help no one can help her.
Until she decides that she is worth loving and learns to love herself—she can not truly love anyone or accept anyone’s love for herself—not even mine.
Regardless of what Ellie chooses to do with her life, her addictions and herself—I hope that she will remember that I love her.
I truly hope Ellie finally realizes what her addictions are doing to her—that she finally chooses to fight them before they destroy her health, her body, her mind and her future.
I hope she chooses to come back to the man she loves and that loves her, so we can start our future together.
May God watch over my beloved Ellie. God bless her and protect her, even from herself. May God grant her the strength, courage, and will to fight her illness and return to being her true self. May God grant her the wisdom to see the truth—both about her illness and about us.
“Over” by Blake Shelton
[Verse 1:]
If I could
I would dare
Feed your dreams
And starve your fears
If I could
Light the world
We could sit
And watch it burn
We could fall asleep inside the glow[Chorus:]
So tell me what I gotta do to win you over
You’ll never have to wonder if you need another
You’ll never have to wonder if I understand
And every time you reach for me you’ll find a hand out
Ohhh[Verse 2:]
If I could
Take you in
Feeling you deep
Beneath my skin
Then I could
Slip away
With you as a poison in my veins
I don’t wanna fall asleep alone
And wake up knowing that I died without the one[Chorus: x2]
So tell me what I gotta do to win you over
You’ll never have to wonder if you need another
You’ll never have to wonder if I understand
And every time you reach for me you’ll find a hand out
Ohhh[Ending:]
If I could
I would dare
Feed your dreams
And starve your fears…