I watched this and thought to myself how Gee and I had basically said everything this man had said to his wife to each other. Gee never gave up. She is the strongest, most stubborn and most gracious woman I have ever known. I was very lucky to have shared my life with her for as long as I did.
I know that several other people had asked Gee to marry them…and she had said no to them all, but for some reason, said yes to me. I still am in wonder at the miracle of that.
The day after her 11-hour Whipple operation, Gee told the nurse she wanted to get up out of bed and try walking. This was less than 12 hours after an operation that is considered to be one of the most grueling and difficult in the world–one that still has a 15%+ mortality rate in many places.
The nurse looked at me and asked me if I was going to try and stop Gee. I looked at the nurse and said, “Hell no, she can beat me up.”
The nurse laughed, then looked at my face again and said, “Damn, you’re serious.”
I said to the nurse, “Lady, I have a 75-pound weight advantage over her and she still wins 40% of the wrestling matches we get into. She’s a lot stronger than she looks, faster than a mongoose and really doesn’t know how to give up…ever.”
I then continued and said, “If she wants to get up out of bed and walk, and the doctors are okay with it…I’ll be right beside her pushing her IV pole.” That’s where I was meant to be…where I had promised her I would always be–walking beside her and supporting her in everything she wanted to do. We were partners–co-conspirators of the heart–and each other’s greatest fan and supporter. It is why I asked her to marry me–that’s where I wanted to be for as long as possible.
I never gave up on Gee…and Gee never gave up on me…or on fighting for us. She’s still here, somehow, letting me know she is always watching over me.
I can’t even say how much I miss her…every day. There are only two other people I love and miss every day as much as I do Gee.
One, my twin brother David, was my first partner and greatest fan and supporter. He was there before we were even born. Whenever someone picked on one of us, they quickly found that they had to deal with us both.
The other is an amazing young woman I have known all of her life. We have been friends all of her life, and I have loved her, cared about her, and protected and guided her all of her life–Ellie. I thought we were each other’s greatest fan and supporter–but her addictions turned out to be stronger than her love and friendship for me. I miss who she used to be, before her addictions destroyed her. Letting go of her has been so difficult to do, but I don’t believe Ellie even exists any more.
I dedicate this video to these three people I love most of all. They will always be in my heart.
And this one to Ellie…the woman I think Gee asked me to find…and the woman I still want to marry and spend the rest of my life with. I love you Ellie.