Her Laughter

Posted on Thursday 5 April 2012

I don’t really know if she is still out there reading what I write. If she is, and I hope that some part of the amazing woman I love still survives and is reading what I write and cares about what I say, I want her to know that one of the things I miss the most is her laughter. Be well my love and get better soon.

"Take bread away from me, if you wish, take air away, but do not take from me your laughter  Do not take away the rose, the lance flower that you pluck, the water that suddenly bursts forth in joy, the sudden wave of silver born in you.  Laugh at the night, at the day, at the moon, laugh at the twisted streets of the island, laugh at this clumsy boy who loves you, but when I open my eyes and close them, when my steps go, when my steps return, deny me bread, air, light, spring, but never your laughter, for I would die."  ~ Pablo Neruda from 'Your Laughter'

I’d also add these words:

“Let today be a day where you take nothing for granted. For life is fleeting, fragile and precious and can change on a whim. Say all the things you really want to say to your loved ones today, say the things you would regret should they pass on and your words remain unspoken. Rejoice, for you and they are alive today—and should you or they pass on to unknown shores, rejoice even more for you have a wonderful love story to tell.”

~ Jackson Kiddard

and tell Ellie that I love her still—I always have and always will… I hope her upcoming birthday brings her much happiness and that she learns to love herself and return to being who God meant her to be soon.

May God watch over my beloved Ellie. God bless her and protect her, even from herself. May God grant her the strength, courage, and will to fight her addictions and return to being her true self. May God grant her the wisdom to see the truth—both about her illness and about us.


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