Archive for April, 2012

Why Do You Love Me?

Gee used to ask me this when we were dating. My answer took her a long time to figure out. I would reply, “Because you’re you”. It took her months to figure out that I meant I loved her unconditionally and always. It wasn’t based on who her parents were, how much money she made, […]

National Honesty Day

Today’s is National Honesty Day. Today is a day I think about one of the most honest people I have ever known–Ellie. Before her addictions took over her life, she was one of the sweetest, most honest and most compassionate people I knew. Now, she lies constantly and sees nothing wrong with it as far […]

God Gave Me You

Added more Blake Shelton to the music collection. I particularly like this video of Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton for his song “God Gave Me You”. I just wish Ellie would listen to the words of this song and realize that I am here for her and love her. My commitment to her is a […]

Cabin Sole Lockers

One of my major projects from this past winter was adding some additional stowage to the main cabin of s/v Pretty Gee. Stowage is very scarce on most trailerable trimarans and the Telstar 28 is no exception. My aim was to make the boat more comfortable, safer and more seaworthy while also giving the boat […]

Anchor Locker and Bow Crash Compartment

During the last winter, I pulled the holding tank from my boat, s/v Pretty Gee. The tank had difficult to trace leak that turned out to be due to a couple of cracks in the side of the tank. When I pulled the tank, I noticed that there is a fairly large space in front […]

Two Days Sober—A Crying Out Now Post

Here’s another post from the Crying Out Now blog. I don’t drink. Reading people’s stories on forums yesterday made me think that perhaps my drinking habits are not that bad. The stories didn’t shock me – although they did make me sad – but they did give me a moment’s pause: I don’t physically or […]

It’s not going to be easy

“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me… everyday.” –Nicholas Sparks This is something very similar to what I told Ellie years ago […]

To Fight For Her

Twelve years ago today, I was asked if I wanted to cancel my engagement to Gee by her father. Gee had been just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer–and though we did not yet know it, it had already metastasized through her lymphatic system. I looked at my future father-in-law and said, “Gee’s illness doesn’t change how […]

It Is Called Love

When people care too much, When anything you do affects them, When they look forward to what you will say to certain things, When they wait for the next day to arrive only so they can talk to you again, When they find a way to put you in every context of their everyday talk, […]

Brutal Truths

There’s another really amazing post on the Crying Out Now blog. The article talks about how hitting rock bottom for an alcoholic doesn\’t necessarily have to resemble a scene from the A&E TV series Intervention. Here are some brutal truths from a woman now eight months sober: If you’re still drinking, here’s what I want […]

You Don’t Know Her Like I Do

( Music )

Just added this to my cellphone’s music collection. Hey ole friend, thanks for callin’ Its good to know somebody cares And yeah, she’s gone, But I don’t feel like talkin’ Might be just too much to bear To hear somebody say I’ll stop hurting To hear somebody say she ain’t worth it You don’t know […]

Be Hated, Love Someone….

Adrian Tan spoke at the convocation of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information in 2008. His speech was titled: Don’t Work, Be Hated, Love Someone. I found his speech on a blog post that was recommended to me by a friend. I am quoting some of his speech, as I believe it […]

Scars and Imperfections has a really great article on scars, imperfections and differences… My favorite part is the concluding paragraph where it says: “I know life for Abigail – and Natalie and Johan and Frank and everybody else wounded or scarred or born different — is more complicated than that. The things that make us stand out […]

Easter Sunday

Today is Easter Sunday. In the Christian faith, it is a day of celebration, for Jesus Christ was resurrected from death on this day. The season of Lent is one of prayer, penance, death and resurrection. It is a season of hope, renewal and faith. Even though Easter holds some sad memories for me, I […]

God’s Will and God’s Grace

On this most holy of weekends, between the day Christ was crucified and the day he was resurrected, I have been thinking about God’s Will and God’s Grace a lot. A beautiful woman I know and love, whose birthday is today, once said: “God’s Will will never take you where God’s Grace can not protect […]

Happy Birthday To Three of My Favorite People

Today is a very special day, since three of the people I care about most were born today. I want to wish my nephew Nick, my adopted big brother Brian and most of all, Ellie–the woman I love most of all–a very happy birthday. I hope that today finds brings them health, happiness and a […]

Her Laughter

I don’t really know if she is still out there reading what I write. If she is, and I hope that some part of the amazing woman I love still survives and is reading what I write and cares about what I say, I want her to know that one of the things I miss […]