Common Denominators

Posted on Friday 24 February 2012

Someone recently asked me if I love Ellie because she reminds me of Gee. That was a question I hadn’t heard before. The answer is no. While there are some things about Ellie that do remind me of Gee, I would say that they are more the common denominators of all the women I love.

All of the women I love are intelligent. I need to be with someone that can hold up their side of the conversation and that can think for themselves. I think this is a necessity because I want a partner—someone to share my life with—and an equal. I want someone that can give as good as she gets in a conversation—someone that is quick-witted enough to put me in my place when necessary. Finally, I want to be with someone who is intelligent enough to be a resource and collaborator in achieving our dreams and goals—hers, mine and ours.

All of the women I love are strong-willed and stubborn. I think this is a necessity because I am such a stubborn person. I think they need to have a pretty strong backbone to deal with me. If they weren’t strong-willed and stubborn, I think I would steam-roll them, and that would not allow us to be equal partners. This too is important—if she can’t stand up to me, she can’t tell me when she thinks what I am doing or thinking is wrong—and I want the woman I share my life with to be a check and balance for the things we do.

All of the women I love have been independent. I want a partner to share my life with. I want someone that when I am with them, we are greater than we could be apart. I want her to be with me because she wants to be, not because she needs to be. I believe that any successful relationship needs to have a hers, mine and ours… and that if she is not independent, that is not really possible. I would point out that a relationship with an independent, intelligent, strong-willed and stubborn woman isn’t always easy, but it is most definitely worthwhile.

All of the women I love are beautiful. I do not mean the traditional definition of beautiful. My definition of beauty requires that they have a good heart, and be a good person. Grace, compassion, kindness, generosity, and caring are all part of what makes a person beautiful in my definition. I have met far too many physically gorgeous people that were shallow, selfish, self-centered and vain—a spiritual ugliness that transcends any mere physical appearance. Also, physical looks eventually will fade—some of the people I grew up with as role models showed me that the inner beauty of a person will always show, no matter what.

All of the women I love have a great sense of humor—and most are quite mischievous. I think that a good sense of humor is a requirement. I also think that if they love me, God must have given them a good sense of humor.

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