As Valentine’s Day approaches, two women are on my mind. They are the two women I love most of all, and both are in my thoughts every day.
One was born on Valentine’s Day and I was lucky enough to marry her. She passed away over a decade ago and I miss her every day. I only knew Gee 23 months and one day, yet the impact she has had on my life is enormous. We met on a blind date—setup by a mutual family friend that really didn’t know either of us. I knew I was going to marry her the first time I spoke to her. We were married on a beautiful autumn day 12 years ago, and I realize how lucky I was to have her in my life.
The other is the amazing woman I was hoping to spend this Valentine’s Day with, and asked to marry me last summer. I love her more than I love Gee, but that is understandable given that I have known her all of her life and have loved her in some form for almost 20 years. I am certain that Ellie is the woman Gee asked me to seek out just before she died. Ellie is beautiful, smart, strong-willed, feisty-tempered, with a mischievous sense of humor. I have cared for her and protected her all of her life, especially the last six years, when her parents saw fit to check out of her life.
Her illness has forced me to walk away from her because I couldn’t stand to watch her addictions destroy everything I love about her. I hope she has stopped drinking and doing drugs. I hope she’s concentrating on studying and working on pulling up her GPA so she doesn’t lose her scholarship. I pray for her and miss her every day. I hope that she realizes how much I love her someday.
I hope she knows that I still want to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her. I want her to know that my walking away from her was not because I wanted to do so, or that it means that I have broken the vows and commitments I have made to her. If she should ever become herself again, the incredibly beautiful, strong, confident and smart woman that loves me, I will keep those promises to her if she should just ask me to.
This song pretty much describes how I feel about her still… I hope she is safe and gets better soon.