Posted on Thursday 29 December 2011

In a recent post, she posted a photo of herself, trying to boast about what a great body she had. I have to agree–she does have a beautiful body. However, her body isn’t the reason I love her so much. I have cared for and loved Ellie all of her life in some manner. I have always thought she was beautiful. Looking back, I realize that my feelings for her started to change a while ago, though I never recognized the full extent of how much they had changed until this past summer. I knew I loved her as more than a friend only after an epiphany one night–a dream so real that I had to wonder if it had really happened or not.

Her physical body…that is something that Jarrod wanted. It is something that most of the guys who have buying her drugs and alcohol have wanted. But that is all they want from her. I will admit, I want that beautiful body of hers too, but only because Ellie is in it. If her addictions have destroyed the amazing woman that loves me, I have no use for that body, no matter how beautiful, sexy and fit it is. It is a physical shell for the spirit and mind I love–no more.

If all I wanted was her body, I probably could have had it earlier this year for a couple of bottles of Bacardi 151. But I wouldn’t do that to the woman I love. I couldn’t take advantage of her illness and its demands upon her. I don’t think that Ellie, under the constraints of her addictions, really understands why I would refuse her when she knows I love her and knows I desire her. I don’t think she understands that it is because I love her that I would not buy her alcohol, even with her offering herself to me.

We cause joy as we arrive and sorrow as we leave, so that we may wonder for just a short while what it is we are supposed to do here on earth.

If it were easy to find, there would be no challenge in finding it, would there.

Loving someone takes courage: fearing it could end at any moment and yet having faith it will last forever

It’s really important to have a fair & equal relationship. If someone feels like they aren’t treated as equally, they’ll eventually leave.

You deserve to be held, hugged, kissed & loved. You deserve anything & everything you desire.

Be careful, the ones that make you smile are the same ones that can shatter your heart.

God didn’t make a mistake when He made you. You need to see yourself as God sees you.

Good relationships don’t just happen. They take time, patience and two people who are committed to getting through the hard times together.

Cherish every moment and every little thing you have while you have it, because you don’t know how much it means to you until it’s gone.

We all die. The goal isn’t to live forever, It’s to create something that will.

Someone who makes more efforts to have you, is someone who didn’t want to lose you.

Life is made up of choices. Yes or no. Love or hate. To be a hero or to be a coward. Choose wisely!

Life is too short to let someone make you miserable. Remember, someone can only make you unhappy if you give them the power to do so.

Sometimes life does not want to give you what you desire, not because you dont deserve it but because you deserve more.

Some people & somethings are put in your life temporarily just to get you on to the next lesson. Everything isn’t meant to last forever.

Life is not about the mistakes we’ve made. It’s about the lessons we’ve learned and the friends we’ve gained.

I’m not afraid to show that I care for someone, because if I don’t, someone else might just take my place.

I love you not because you give me what I need. I love you because you give me things I thought I never needed.

I knew I was falling but I thought you’d be there to catch me.

Respect people who find time for you in their busy schedule. But LOVE people who never look at their schedule when you need them.

Enjoy the little things in life, because one day, you’ll look back and realize that they were actually big things.

If there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks, then I’ll follow you into the dark

Nobody wants to hear this, but sometimes we have to accept the fact that the person we want the most is the person we’re best without.

Never take advantage of the person who does the most for you

Before you talk, listen. Before you react, think. Before you criticize, wait. Before you pray, forgive. Before you quit, try.

Relationships last long NOT because they are destined to last long; but because two brave people made a choice to keep fighting for it.

People are not what they say, but what they do, so judge them not from their words, but from their actions.

What we can do–when we must do it–is often very surprising. It can also be lonely beyond endurance…yet we endure. That may be the essence of being human.

Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing ever. But to hold it together when everyone else thinks you’d fall apart is true strength.

Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter & fun, the best things in life are free.

Someone who really loves you sees what a mess you can be, how moody you can get, how hard you are to handle, but still wants you in their life.

Throughout my life, I’ve always been afraid of losing people I love. Sometimes I wonder, is there anyone out there afraid to lose me?

“Hold on to your hope and do what you can to let her know you care. One of these days she’ll wake up and that will mean something to her. I know her family, though not well, and know how close her family and yours have been over the years. That will tell in the long run.”

Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that really matter don’t mind and the people that mind really don’t matter.

If someone can’t stop doing things that you don’t want them to do, it only means that they love those things more than they love you

You know you truly love somebody when they hurt you so badly, but all you can think about it is the times when they made you smile.

I don’t know what’s worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it. Apparently, a lot of young women today don’t have the self-respect or confidence to know someone calling them a bitch isn’t worth their time. It is pretty sad

My problem is that I can’t stay mad. I always end up forgiving people, even if they don’t deserve it.

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.” –Herman Hesse

“If I know what love is, it is because of you.” –Herman Hesse

I only get one set of days…so I should spend them wisely.

I always do what others can’t…that’s my job. I have done what I can for Ellie, knowing that what had to be done might put our friendship at risk, might endanger the greater love that was growing between us…and I did it anyways. Not because I didn’t love her, but because I do.

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