Dear Santa

Posted on Thursday 22 December 2011

Dear Santa,

I’ve been a very good boy this year. I have a very simple request for Christmas–can I just have Ellie please? I know she’s not perfect, but I do love her warts and all. I think she’s beautiful, smart and funny. I know she’s the one I was told to look for 10 years ago. I promise I’ll take good care of her and love her for the rest of my life.

I know she’s not healthy right now and that she needs help, but I’m willing to help her get better. I will walk by her side to help her along the long road to recovery if she wants me to. I would be honored to be the one to wipe her tears when she cries, pick her up when she falls, support her when she stumbles or falters, protect her when she feels frightened or threatened, guide her when she is lost or confused and most of all, love her more each and every day.

I would point out that I have experience doing this, as I have been her friend, guide, protector, and confidante for much of her life and I have loved her in some form for all of it. I have cared for her and her family for almost 30 years now, and never stopped, even when they didn’t recognize our friendship and when their actions didn’t merit it. Her mother’s last text to me was, “Danny, I know that you will always be here for us.”, and I have been for almost 30 years.

I know she loves me because she told me so in two different languages dozens of times during the brief week we were talking about our future together earlier this year. If she hadn’t told me that–if I didn’t know how much she loves me–I would have walked away from her because there would be no reason for me to stay and no commitment between us. However, I do have a commitment to Ellie because she does love me. I think we deserve a chance to explore that possible future with kids that are Asians with freckles, and all the other things we discussed. I have the ring I bought for her, right here, waiting for her hand.

Her illness is not a reason to throw away that future. I know she is smart enough, strong enough and brave enough to fight her illness and get better, once she realizes that she is ill. But, until she realizes that she has a problem with alcohol and drugs, there is nothing I can do to help her. So, Santa, please make her realize she has a problem and ask me for my help in getting better, so we can get on with the future we were talking about.

If you can, show my beautiful and beloved Ellie how much I love her and that I still want to spend the rest of our lives together. I hope I see Ellie again soon.


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