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Archive for September, 2011

Glimpses of Ellie

Every once in a while, I’ll get a glimpse of the amazing and beautiful woman I love. Like today, when she posted this photo: This photo she took of beautiful flowers reminds me that the person I love is still there, someplace behind the actions of her addictions—that the amazing and beautiful woman I love, […]

Worse Than Death

I think that losing Ellie to her alcoholism is some ways is more difficult to deal with as losses go than losing Gee to cancer. While I do love Gee and Ellie both, it was a shock and a surprise to realize that I love Ellie more than I do Gee. Brad had a good […]

Remember this…

Ellie, if you are reading this, I hope you can remember this— I will be here if and when you need my help. I love you—I always have and always will. I care about you—I always have and always will. I am still your friend—even if you choose not to admit it or recognize it—I […]

Some Wounds Don’t Heal

In the Twinless Twins group on Facebook, I pointed out that some wounds, like that of losing a twin, never truly heal, but become things we learn to deal with and live with. For me, there are five people who fall into that category–and losing them has left scars and wounds that I don’t believe […]

Love Don’t Run

I want Ellie to know I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. While I have walked away from her to get some space and distance between us and to allow me to recover my strength and heal the wounds that she inflicted when I tried to get her help earlier this summer, I have not abandoned […]

School Starts

It is September and Ellie has returned to school. I was really worried that when she went back to school, her drinking would get worse, even though she seemed to have it under control for the last couple of weeks of the summer. It looks as if my worst fears have come true, since she […]