Querencia

Posted on Wednesday 3 August 2011

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I found this definition of Querencia on a website:

“In Spanish, querencia describes a place where one feels safe, a place from which one’s strength of character is drawn, a place where one feels at home.”

I have always defined it as it was taught to me by a friend many years ago–home of the heart.

Over the past two months, I have discovered that my querencia is Lauren Elizabeth Kelley.  When I am with her, I am at home. She is “mo chuisle mo chroi” as they would say in Irish. That translates roughly as “the pulse of my heart” but means much more.

Right now, she and I are at an impasse.  However, the source of the problems between us appear to be something I did not expect. I believe, as do some others, that this impasse and her current erratic behavior is because of another issue entirely.

I hope to be meeting with her family shortly after I get back to Boston. I hope that between all of us, we can get my Lauren Elizabeth Kelley back to being herself–the beautiful woman who loves me and that I wish to spend the rest of my life with.

I trust that when Lauren Elizabeth Kelley told me that she loves me and when she said “Sarangheyo”, that she meant it. If she did, I am hoping that the love that she has for me and the love I have for her will prove enough to let me help her help herself.

I know the road ahead for Lauren Elizabeth Kelley is bound to be long, difficult and fraught with peril, but she will not have to travel it alone. If she will allow me, I will be there beside her, once again her protector, friend, and confidante, as I have been her whole life. Whether she knows it or not, my commitment to her is as great as the one I had to Gee many years ago.

God Bless you Lauren Elizabeth.

May God watch over you and protect you from all harm—even that you cause yourself.

I hope God gives you the strength to fight your addictions and the wisdom to see the truth about what the alcohol and drugs are doing to you.

I pray that God grants you the serenity and peace you will need to love yourself once again and to forgive yourself for the things your addictions have made you do.

I ask that God helps you find your way back to being the amazing, beautiful, intelligent, feisty, stubborn, strong, and devout woman He wants you to be.

Finally, may He grant you the ability to see yourself as I do and let you remember who we are to each other; let you remember the years of friendship, love and devotion we once shared; and give you the strength to make amends so we can start the future together we talked about last June.

All this in Jesus’s name I pray.

Amen.


4 Comments for 'Querencia'

  1.  
    December 13, 2011 | 8:13 pm
     

    [...] as I have said previously, is my querencia and mo chuisle mo chroi. Respectively, they translate as “home of my [...]

  2.  
    November 19, 2012 | 6:33 pm
     

    [...] the memories I will keep and cherish and share of the amazing woman I love and still hope to marry. Lauren Elizabeth Kelley is mi querencia and mo chuisle mo chroi. Lauren Elizabeth Kelley is the woman whose love for me has healed [...]

  3.  
    December 3, 2012 | 10:59 am
     

    [...] These are among the reasons that I can not stay and remain the person that my Lauren Elizabeth Kelley loves. I no longer have the warmth and healing balm of her love to heal the wounds her addictions are tearing in my heart and spirit. I have lost my beloved and mi querencia and mo chuisle mo chroi. [...]

  4.  
    December 11, 2012 | 8:48 am
     

    [...] Much as Lauren Elizabeth Kelley’s love for me has helped heal the scars left behind by Gee’s dea…—I think my love for Lauren Elizabeth Kelley—the joy, the laughter, and the happiness we have always had whenever we are together are the only things that will heal Lauren Elizabeth Kelley’s wounded heart and soul. [...]

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