Adrift at Sea —Dan’s blog on dankim.com

Late last night, I drove down to Cape Cod. I had picked up two friends, who are visiting for the weekend, and we all went down to my sister’s condo on the Cape. It’s a pretty good ways out to where the condo is—if you look at Cape Cod as an arm, the condo is out by the elbow. Even though my sister and her husband have owned the condo for a few years, this is the very first time I am staying here.

It is very strange being out here on Cape Cod again—it has been five years since I was last out here, and I guess I’ve been avoiding coming back. As much as I’ve tried to say the reason is because I lived in Virginia, and didn’t have a chance to use the condo—I know that the real reason that I’ve never used her condo before is to avoid having to be back here on Cape Cod—without Gee.

A little over five years ago, Gee and I came out to Cape Cod and Martha’s Vineyard. As I’ve said before, it was one of the four places she wanted to see before she died—Cape Cod and the Islands, Key West, Napa Valley, and Greece—and the only one we actually visited together. I plan on going to the other three.

The weather is pretty similar to what Gee and I had back five years ago—rain, rain and a bit more rain. It is hard to believe that it was only five years ago—and at times it seems so long ago, and at others it seems like it was just yesterday.

Gee and I had flown up from Washington, DC. One of my friends commented how unusual it was for me to fly anywhere, and I guess the only reason we flew up to Boston was to spare Gee the long drive. By April of 2001, her health and stamina wasn’t really up for it. Strange, if you consider one of our first trips together was the cross-country drive from DC to Seattle. One of the hardest things about her illness, was seeing this marvelous, sweet, strong and fierce woman I love lose her strength and stamina, and know there was nothing I could do about it.

Gee and I had stayed at a lovely bed and breakfast run by Ken and Joanne Baker. If you want to spend a romantic weekend on Cape Cod, I’d highly recommend the Palmer House Inn. The breakfasts there are marvelous, and one of the highlights of our trip. Downtown historic Falmouth is a few minutes walking distance from the inn. I’ve always meant to write Ken and Joanne, to thank them for the very special time that Gee and I were able to share there.

Tomorrow, M & F are both going to go over to Martha’s Vineyard—much like Gee and I had five years ago. I decided not to go with them—instead, I’m driving back to Fairhaven, to work on the Pretty Gee. I told M that she and F really have to take the Martha’s Vineyard tour bus. Later this summer, I plan to return to Martha’s Vineyard, but I’ll be sailing there on the Pretty Gee, not taking the ferry.

Sunday, the three of us are going to have brunch somewhere out here on the Cape, and then head back to Boston. M & F have to be back at the airport around 3:00 to catch their flight back to DC.

Even after five years, there are still so many things I find remind me how much I miss Gee. I sometimes wonder if it really is possible to miss someone so very much.